Sad Grandma?

Future and past met and collided when I held my first Grandbaby in my arms. Women of choice are often overcome with an unexpected flow of happiness and grief when they meet their first grandbaby.

If you have chosen a voluntary pregnancy termination you need to know that grief after an abortion choice is real. While our culture says that abortion is the closure, what I see from my personal vantage point and also the professional venue, the abortion is a start of a long process to resolution.

Here are some things to consider if you are a Grandmother with voluntary pregnancy termination in your past.

1). The grief you feel is real. You are experiencing disenfranchised grief over your abortion experience. There is no permission to grieve your choice. There is no public forum to even talk about what you feel.

2). You are not alone. Over 50 million women have made choice decisions. The majority of us feel just like you do. We want to cry, but don’t feel like we deserve that option.

3). Grieving an abortion is a process that can take many years and can run in cycles. An event like holding your first grandchild can trigger all those feelings of confusion and sadness to rise up inside of you.

4). There is a lot of hope and many places to talk about your abortion experience where people understand how you are feeling. You can go to www.amazon.com and type in “help after abortion” to find books on the subject.

5). You can find a support group where other ladies feel the same as you. There is a lot of comfort available in a support group setting. The best Web site I’ve found for this help is www.abortionrecovery.org They will have a listing of counselors and support groups and other helpers available 24 hours a day.

Be encouraged! You are not alone in your overwhelming celebration of new life and sadness over life that wasn’t allowed. Collin Grant is an amazing person. I feel so privileged to be “his Gammy.” I will always remember holding him that very first time. Even when he walks down the aisle at his high school graduation, I will think of him as that little person all wrapped up in the soft blue blanket. I grieve, but not without hope.

That little baby gave me hope for new beginnings. I wish this hope for all my sisters of choice who sit silently in their prison of silence over a past voluntary pregnancy termination.