I can't help but compare the Sanctity of Human Life Day and the Roe vs Wade Legalization of abortion days (January 23 and January 22 respectively) with the actual abortion process. Everything falls in line with so many similarities.
SILENCE.
I'm not a news junky, but I heard very little conversations about this topic in the media this weekend.
There is so much silence surrounding this issue. We have grown weary with the debating of it all and there are more pressing issues at hand.
So the women of choice passed quietly through this weekend. Hardly noticing any twinge of pain themselves. Ignoring everything connected to choice seems to be the answer. Maybe if we ignore the whole thing...maybe, just maybe "it" will go away.
NOT. Pain always has a way of surfacing "somewhere." In our bodies, in our minds, in our souls, in our relationships.
Yes, it was a quiet news weekend. Not much up. And so our culture marches on with denial as our best friend.
Showing posts with label abortion grief processing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label abortion grief processing. Show all posts
Monday, January 24, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Not me.
It is nearing the anniversary of Roe vs Wade. (January 22). A friend of mine was sharing yesterday a radio broadcast she heard that was very powerful. A woman talking about watching an ultrasound of an abortion. Baby was "fighting" for its life...only 12 weeks old. I tried to wrap my mind around "the process" of abortion. As I listened to her words, I "felt" myself going into an out-of-body experience. For the first time ...all these years past my abortion...I was able to recognize the actual dissociation reaction I was having as she talked. I was unable in my mind and heart to even imagine that my friend could have been talking about ME and MY baby. NO...this was someone else she was describing. NOT ME. For a few fleeting seconds my body was frozen in time. My mind literally went away. I COULD NOT connect what she was describing with my own personal experience. Herein lies the problem for millions of women. Even after all the help and amazing healing I've personally been through for years and years...it is so hard for me to wrap my mind around the horridness of "it" all and connect it to my own personal experience. The power of fear keeps all of us from really "looking at" the pain of abortion. I guess this is why I'm passionate about helping women tell their secrets in safety and with no judgement. I have a feeling there are millions of women "out there" whose mind and hearts go to a "different place" when they hear their friend talk about abortion. For me, it was another time. Another world. Another place. It wasn't me. No, NOT ME.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Press Release: New Resource Helps Women Face Grief After Abortion Without Fear
Buena Vista, CO (PRWEB) April 21, 2010 -- Professional Therapist Trudy M. Johnson, L.M.F.T., who helps women with grief after an abortion decision, says it is time to give women who've chosen to voluntarily terminate a pregnancy a venue to grieve and process their loss.
Women who've made abortion decisions over the last four decades make up one of the largest demographic in our nation. According to the Alan Guttmacher Institute, a statistical gathering arm of Planned Parenthood over one million choice decisions per year have been made since 1973.
Johnson believes women do not typically talk about an abortion in their past, "This is because they don't want to risk rejection, receive condemnation, or be misunderstood about the natural sadness that can occur after a voluntary pregnancy termination.
Women experience something called disenfranchised grief after an abortion. There are no open venues for talking about, crying about, or expressing any emotion over the feeling of loss that can often blindside a woman after a decision to terminate a pregnancy," says therapist Trudy Johnson, founder of Missing Pieces. Org.
Women who've made abortion decisions over the last four decades make up one of the largest demographic in our nation. According to the Alan Guttmacher Institute, a statistical gathering arm of Planned Parenthood over one million choice decisions per year have been made since 1973.
Johnson believes women do not typically talk about an abortion in their past, "This is because they don't want to risk rejection, receive condemnation, or be misunderstood about the natural sadness that can occur after a voluntary pregnancy termination.
Women experience something called disenfranchised grief after an abortion. There are no open venues for talking about, crying about, or expressing any emotion over the feeling of loss that can often blindside a woman after a decision to terminate a pregnancy," says therapist Trudy Johnson, founder of Missing Pieces. Org.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Pain is a Universal Language
Pain is a universal language that needs no interpreter. I have seen more pain the past few weeks than I've seen in a long,long time. Maybe I am just wearing down with it all. The thing about pain is that it imprisons a person in such a way there is no escape. Trying to run or medicate works for awhile, but even these coping skills only have a temporary lifespan. You have to get away, but getting away only means that coming back is inevitable.
When I discharged a client from her two-week participation in the brief intensive therapy program she completed yesterday, I gave her a symbolic going away present. I remembered having to get out a new box of kleenex from the supply cabinet when she arrived. Now on the last day, in the last hour of our session, she pulled the last kleenex from the box. As she wiped the last tear from her face, we laughed about her using a whole box full of kleenexes. I took the scissors and dismantled the box so it would lay flat. I handed the flattened package to her as a memorial of the "only way" she could release herself of the pain...crying!
Finding a safe place to grieve losses is a starting place for dumping the pain in our souls. There is something about someone "being there" and sharing the pain with you. Truly a burden shared is reduced, not magnified. Crying helps. But someone crying with you is even better.
When I discharged a client from her two-week participation in the brief intensive therapy program she completed yesterday, I gave her a symbolic going away present. I remembered having to get out a new box of kleenex from the supply cabinet when she arrived. Now on the last day, in the last hour of our session, she pulled the last kleenex from the box. As she wiped the last tear from her face, we laughed about her using a whole box full of kleenexes. I took the scissors and dismantled the box so it would lay flat. I handed the flattened package to her as a memorial of the "only way" she could release herself of the pain...crying!
Finding a safe place to grieve losses is a starting place for dumping the pain in our souls. There is something about someone "being there" and sharing the pain with you. Truly a burden shared is reduced, not magnified. Crying helps. But someone crying with you is even better.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Sad Grandma?
Future and past met and collided when I held my first Grandbaby in my arms. Women of choice are often overcome with an unexpected flow of happiness and grief when they meet their first grandbaby.
If you have chosen a voluntary pregnancy termination you need to know that grief after an abortion choice is real. While our culture says that abortion is the closure, what I see from my personal vantage point and also the professional venue, the abortion is a start of a long process to resolution.
Here are some things to consider if you are a Grandmother with voluntary pregnancy termination in your past.
1). The grief you feel is real. You are experiencing disenfranchised grief over your abortion experience. There is no permission to grieve your choice. There is no public forum to even talk about what you feel.
2). You are not alone. Over 50 million women have made choice decisions. The majority of us feel just like you do. We want to cry, but don’t feel like we deserve that option.
3). Grieving an abortion is a process that can take many years and can run in cycles. An event like holding your first grandchild can trigger all those feelings of confusion and sadness to rise up inside of you.
4). There is a lot of hope and many places to talk about your abortion experience where people understand how you are feeling. You can go to www.amazon.com and type in “help after abortion” to find books on the subject.
5). You can find a support group where other ladies feel the same as you. There is a lot of comfort available in a support group setting. The best Web site I’ve found for this help is www.abortionrecovery.org They will have a listing of counselors and support groups and other helpers available 24 hours a day.
Be encouraged! You are not alone in your overwhelming celebration of new life and sadness over life that wasn’t allowed. Collin Grant is an amazing person. I feel so privileged to be “his Gammy.” I will always remember holding him that very first time. Even when he walks down the aisle at his high school graduation, I will think of him as that little person all wrapped up in the soft blue blanket. I grieve, but not without hope.
That little baby gave me hope for new beginnings. I wish this hope for all my sisters of choice who sit silently in their prison of silence over a past voluntary pregnancy termination.
If you have chosen a voluntary pregnancy termination you need to know that grief after an abortion choice is real. While our culture says that abortion is the closure, what I see from my personal vantage point and also the professional venue, the abortion is a start of a long process to resolution.
Here are some things to consider if you are a Grandmother with voluntary pregnancy termination in your past.
1). The grief you feel is real. You are experiencing disenfranchised grief over your abortion experience. There is no permission to grieve your choice. There is no public forum to even talk about what you feel.
2). You are not alone. Over 50 million women have made choice decisions. The majority of us feel just like you do. We want to cry, but don’t feel like we deserve that option.
3). Grieving an abortion is a process that can take many years and can run in cycles. An event like holding your first grandchild can trigger all those feelings of confusion and sadness to rise up inside of you.
4). There is a lot of hope and many places to talk about your abortion experience where people understand how you are feeling. You can go to www.amazon.com and type in “help after abortion” to find books on the subject.
5). You can find a support group where other ladies feel the same as you. There is a lot of comfort available in a support group setting. The best Web site I’ve found for this help is www.abortionrecovery.org They will have a listing of counselors and support groups and other helpers available 24 hours a day.
Be encouraged! You are not alone in your overwhelming celebration of new life and sadness over life that wasn’t allowed. Collin Grant is an amazing person. I feel so privileged to be “his Gammy.” I will always remember holding him that very first time. Even when he walks down the aisle at his high school graduation, I will think of him as that little person all wrapped up in the soft blue blanket. I grieve, but not without hope.
That little baby gave me hope for new beginnings. I wish this hope for all my sisters of choice who sit silently in their prison of silence over a past voluntary pregnancy termination.
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